Confused In Love Book 4 Chapter 8: One More Chance

One More Chance

It was about 9am nung lumabas ako para magkape sa Cat's Eyes. For the very first time in a long time, gumising ako na magaan ang pakiramdam and I wasn't grieving as much as before. I decided to go out for a change. I've spent a whole year na nagkukulong lang sa bahay at nagtatrabaho. Nakakasawa din pero honestly, ngayon ko lang sya naramdaman. 

After about half an hour or so, naalala ko bigla I was cooking something and it is still on the stove! I quickly stood up and as I hurried for the exit, may nabangga akong lalaki. 

Akhi: Oh! I'm so sorry! 

Guy: It's okay. 

Maya maya pa, napatingin sakin yung guy.

Guy: Hey, you look familiar. 

Akhi: Well I'm sure I make that kind of impression to everyone. After all, my features are not that unique. 

Guy: No, I'm sure I've seen you somewhere...

Akhi: Anyway, I really have to hurry now. Sorry. 

Guy: Wait!

Bago pa man nya ako mapigilan, naka alis na ako ng cafe. 

Pagpasok ko sa bahay, dumiretso na ako agad sa kusina to check on it. Pagpasok ko doon, Rocel was standing there, arms crossed and brows furrowed. Si Cherry naman ay nakaupo sa upuan malapit sa table with her chin rested on her palm. 

Cherry: I must say, masaya ako bessy na nakakalabas labas ka na ngayon. 

Rocel: Pero lipad parin ang isip! Iniwan mo tong niluluto mo! *sabay turo sa kalderong nangingitim* muntik na tayong masunog kanina. Kala ko nga paglabas ko ng kwarto eh nasa heaven na ako. Yun pala it was smoke coming from a burning dish in the kitchen!

I slumped my head and shoulder and apologized. 

Akhi: Sorry... Aaminin ko andami kong iniisip kanina. 

Rocel wanted to argue with me, but she resigned. She's rubbing her temples and her eyes rolled skyward. 

Rocel: *inhales a deep breath and blows out slowly* Well! Wala din namang magagawa kahit pagalitan pa kita. I'm not your mother. But please pull it together Akhi. I don't wanna die young. 

Cherry: Oh stop overreacting Ross. Sige na Akhi, take a seat at may pag uusapan tayo. 

I did as she asked. Na-curious ako bigla. What could it be all about at napaka aga ni Cherry pumunta sa apartment?

Akhi: Okay what is it? 

Cherry: Ayun, fortunately kahit gumawa ka ng eksena kahapon sa wedding ng anak ng business partner ni James, hindi naman naapektuhan ang relationship nila about sa business. 

Akhi: That's good to hear. 

Cherry: Yun nga lang, James was really upset. Badtrip sya sa'yo bessy. 

Akhi: *sigh* Sorry talaga. Hindi na mauulit. 

Rocel: Talagang wag mo nang ulitin dahil next time di na kita ililigtas sa kahihiyan. 

I scratched the back of my head and feigned sleepiness. 

Akhi: yeah yeah... I hear you Ross...

Cherry: And ayun, hindi nga pala natuloy ang kasal. Umayaw yung groom and I'm guessing dahil yun sa mga pinagsasabi mo. 

Rocel: Oh gosh I hope this isn't gonna be a problem. 

Just then may tumawag sa phone ko and when I answered it was my boss. Matapos naming mag usap, nakasimangot na ako. 

Rocel: Oh? Anung sabi? 

Akhi: *sigh* I'm fired. 

Cherry: Ha? Bakit naman? On what grounds should they fire you? 

Akhi: Hindi ko alam kung may mental telepathy 'to si Ross eh! 

Rocel: Ha?

Akhi: I'm fired because of the scene I've caused at the wedding. Turns out, my boss is associated with the bride's father and he happened to be one of the guests that day. 

Cherry strike her palm onto her forehead. 

Cherry: tsk tsk! Ayan na nga sinasabi ko. Pano na yan?

Akhi: *sigh* I'll figure something out. 

Rocel: Nako Akhi! You're so lucky you have friends like us. Di ka namin pababayaan. 

Cherry: Anyway hindi lang yan ang bad news for today. 

Akhi: Ha? Meron pa? I think I've had enough. 

Cherry: Well like it or not, nakabalik na ng pilipinas si Aaron. I've heard from Mackhoy. 

Rocel: Bad news nga. 

Akhi: Binaon ko na sa limot ang taong yon. Dahilan ng lahat ng ito. I can't forgive him.

Cherry: Ingat ingat ka Akhi, he might try and get you again. For all we know walang bituka yon. 

Rocel: Subukan lang nyang makalapit kay Akhi. Not on my watch. Kung hindi, makakatikim sya sakin! 

Akhi: Don't worry guys. I can take care of myself. 

Cherry: Well that was all that I came here for. May meeting pa ako in a while so maiwan ko na muna kayo mga bessy. Keep in touch nalang. 

She threw her bag onto her shoulder. 

Rocel: Okay. Yung lakad nga pala natin nila Celine ha? Don't forget. 

Akhi: May lakad kayo and you didn't even tell me? 

Rocel: Duh! Like how many times did we invite you in the past that you've turn us down? 

Akhi: Oo nga pala. 

Rocel: Anyway I've got to prepare na. 

Akhi: Si Harold nga pala? 

Rocel: Akhi, seriously? Hindi ka ba namin kasama the past year? Parang ngayon ka lang bumalik sa amin ha? Alam mo namang minsan nalang yon umuwi dito sa bahay dahil palagi na syang andon! Kasama ni Grace! 

Then she walked out and towards her room. I felt sad really... We both know na inlove sya kay Harold at nakakalungkot isipin na all these times hindi ko namalayan nag iisa nalang pala si Rocel. Like I might be with her but I'm also not. Kase it's been all about me. She's always taking care of me... Trying to comfort me... While ako naman I haven't been there for her sa mga times na nasasaktan sya dahil kay Harold. But then may hindi din ako napansin, kasama narin pala namin ulit si Gideon. Pero gaya ni Harold, madalas narin syang wala sa bahay. 

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Celine: Oh my goodness you're looking so fabulous in that gorgeous outfit! 

Lyssa: I knerr! Ako pa! 

Celine: So what time daw ba makakarating yung dalawang bruha dito? Sumasakit na yung paa ko sa heels na to ha. 

Lyssa: Any minute now Celine. 

Sabay dumating si Rocel at Cherry.

Cherry: Hey girls I'm so sorry to keep you waiting. 

Rocel: So ano? Let's go shopping na! At para maaga tayong makauwi. 

Lyssa: Teka lang mga te ha? Hinihintay ko pa kase si Andrew. 

Celine: Oy ikaw ha! Halos mag iisang taon ka nang nililigawan nung tao hindi mo parin sinasagot? Nagmamaganda ka! 

Lyssa: ay nako. Huli ka na sa balita. Kami na no last month pa! Palibhasa call center mode kayo ni Gideon parati! 

Cherry: Ayan na sya. 

Andrew: Sorry I'm late. I had to report at the station kanina. 

Lyssa: It's okay babe. *kiss*

Celine: Eh teka, pano nyo mapapa alis ng bahay bukas si Akhi? 

Rocel: Pinagiisipan ko pa nga eh. But don't worry. Since it seems like he's moving on this time hindi mahirap palabasin ng bahay yon.

Andrew: This is actually the second time that we're going to give him a surprise birthday party right? 

Then natahimik sila bigla. 

Cherry: nakakalungkot lang isipin na someone dearest to him is not going to be a part of it anymore. 

Celine: Ay naku! Itigil natin ang dramang ito at ito'y hindi na aangkop sa sitwasyon. Tara na guys! 

Rocel: Yeah you're right. Let's go. 

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Surprisingly, today since wala narin akong trabaho, I felt really bored for the first time staying at home. So I cleaned up and went out and since paubos narin ang laman ng fridge, I decided to go shopping for groceries. At the mall, sa may supermarket naglalakad ako nang bigla akong makita ng mga girls. 

Rocel: Oh em gee!!! Anung ginagawa ni Akhi dito? 

Cherry: Everyone quickly hide! 

They ducked behind the shelves of goods kase I was walking just right on the opposite side kung nasaan sila. I was about to go to their side of the area nang makita ako ni Celine. I wasn't looking in front of me as I was scanning the shelves for fresh milk. Dahil panicked na si Celine, she pushed a guy towards me na namimili din and they quickly and carefully ran away so I wouldn't see them. 

Akhi: Ouch! 

Guy: Sorry! Someone just pushed me. Hindi ko sinasadyang mabangga ka. 

I looked up at the tall and handsome guy in front of me at sabay naming nasambit. 

"Ikaw nanaman?"

Guy: Why is it that everytime our paths crossed nagkakabanggaan tayo. It makes it literal. 

Akhi: Well it's just a coincidence. 

Maya maya pa, tinititigan nya ako then suddenly as if something has struck him, he snapped his fingers and said:

Guy: Aha! Alam ko na kung saan kita nakita! 

Akhi: Saan naman? 

Guy: You were in my wedding. 

I stared at him with cow eyes and gapped mouth.

Akhi: Ikaw yung groom? 

Richard: Yes I am. The name's Richard. 

I inhaled a sharp breath and then bigla akong lumuhod sa harap nya and nag apologize ako ng paulit ulit. 

Akhi: Sorry talaga! Huhuhu sorry talaga! Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa isip ko nung mga oras na yon! Masyado nang magulo ang utak ko at di ko alam baka nababaliw na ako. Sorry! Sorry!

*He was thinking*

Richard: (Should I tell him that it's okay or should I tease him?)

Then he decided to tease me anyway. 

Richard: Well if you're truly sorry about that, come home with me and be my wife instead. 

Bigla akong napatingala sa kanya at sa isip ko "aba'y antipatiko pala itong lalaking ito?!" But then naisip ko din na malaki ang kasalanan ko sa kanya. I stood up slowly and asked trembling and as my voice trails off:

Akhi: S-seryoso ka ba sa sinasabi mo? *frowns bug-eyed*

He raised a brow as a smile dangled on the corner of his lips. 

Akhi: Hey um...

I was thinking what the hell did I get myself into? Then he laughed vigorously.

Akhi: *brows furrowed* What's so funny? 

Richard: You're so gullible. Don't worry it's okay. I was just messing around. 

Akhi: Hey?!

Richard: But seriously, you don't even need to apologize. You actually saved my life. 

Akhi: Really? How?

Richard: You saved me from a life long misery. From a marriage that I didn't even want from the very beginning. I was too afraid to decline my parents. But that day at the wedding, you gave me a push that was just enough to give me the strength I need to do what's right for me. 

Akhi: Well I'm so glad to hear that. 

Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit pero may naramdaman ako sa titig nya. Hindi ko maintindihan but it was kinda familiar. This feeling, it's as if I have felt this way before towards someone. Siguro napatagal na ang titig ko sa kanya because he said

Richard: Are you having a LAFS with me?

Akhi: *startled but I composed myself and asked* What on earth is LAFS? 

Richard: *grinning mischievously* Love at first sight.

Akhi: *I tilted my head to the side and look dismayed* okay teka lang ha? Medyo malakas kase ang hangin dito eh. 

Richard: Haha. Well mali ba ako?

He cocked his head and bit his lips as he stared at me then I look him straight in the eyes.

Akhi: Is this how you express gratitude? 

Natahimik sya then he stood up straight and cleared his throat. 

Richard: Ahem! Umm... So is there anything I can help you with? 

I was thinking marami akong bibilhing groceries ngayon so maybe I could use a hand to help me carry my shopping bags. 

Akhi: Well kailangan ko ng tulong sa shopping bags since marami akong groceries na bibilhin. 

Richard: I could help you with that and if you want, hatid narin kita sa inyo. 

Akhi: hmmm.... Yeah okay. That would be nice. Makaka save ako ng pamasahe. 

Richard: Since I am also here to shop, let's go shopping together. 

Akhi: Okay. 

Richard: But before we do, you need to give me your number now. I might forget it later. 

Akhi: Uhuh? And why would that be necessary? 

Richard: Look, I know we just met, but I feel like we could be really good friends. I feel like I can relate to you. Magaan ang loob ko sa'yo. I don't really make friends with strangers and people I just met but with you, it's like a kindred spirit thing happening. 

Medyo may kurot sakin yung word na "friend" At di ko parin malaman kung bakit but anyway I shook it off and gave him my number. We finished shopping and then got in his car tapos hinatid nya na ako sa apartment.

As I entered the house, Rocel was there in the living room eying me suspiciously.

Rocel: Sino naman yung naghatid sa'yo pauwi ha? 

Her enquiry sounded so annoying so I returned the favor. 

Akhi: *acting* Oh mother! oh mother! Please forgive me! 

Rocel: Ha?

Akhi: I love him and he loves me... Hindi naman kayang pigilan ang aming mga pusong umiibig! 

She frowned at me with her hands on her hips and said

Rocel: Ikaw Akhi ha! Tigil tigilan mo yan. I'm just worried about you! 

Akhi: Haha I know. 

Then I smiled at her with a sincere heart without saying a word I expressed my gratitude through that. She smiled back and said:

Rocel: It's good to know that you're okay now Akhi. I'm so happy. Finally you're back.

Akhi: Thanks Ross. 

Lumapit ako sa kanya at niyakap ko sya. Medyo nagulat sya at nagtaka, but she returned the embrace anyway. 

Rocel: Walang anuman bessy. 

Akhi: Tsaka sorry din Ross. I know you've also been hurt and sad the past months pero I wasn't even there to comfort you or just be there for you. But things are gonna change now and I just want to let you know na nandito lang ako for you. 

A tear fell from her eye and then she said in almost a whisper:

Rocel: Thanks Akhi. 

Matapos non, I cooked dinner for everyone and umuwi si Harold for dinner at sabay sabay kaming apat na kumain nila Gideon. Then it was late at night at ako'y natulog na. 

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I am savoring the cold breeze by the beach while I am walking and watching the sunset. I feel so light... I feel so calm... I feel so peaceful... Then I sat in the sand facing the ocean in front of me. Maya maya pa, may tumabi sakin. 

Gab: Hello stranger. *smiles*

Akhi: Gab? Oh my goodness... *laughs*

Gab: Why are you laughing Akhi? 

Akhi: Am I dreaming again? Hahaha I'm getting used to this. It's terrifying though. 

Gab: Well do you want it to stop? 

Akhi: No. It may scare me a little but I feel comfortable. 

Gab: I'm glad to hear that. 

We sat side by side in silence... Then he asked:

Gab: Does he remind you of me? 

Akhi: Oh you mean Richard? 

He just nodded and smiled then he threw a pebble into the ocean. 

Akhi: Honestly, I think that's what I felt when I stared into his eyes... Hindi ko sya mawari kanina. Pero ngayon it's becoming clear. 

Gab: That's good. 

Then I looked at him... Medyo malungkot ang mukha ko then I asked: 

Akhi: Aren't you jealous?

Gab: *sigh* I'm not supposed to be. Maybe a little, but it's no longer a thing and I know you know what I mean. 

Akhi: Yeah... It's so sad. 

Gab: Hey cheer up! 

Akhi: I know Gab... But you know what, it doesn't suck so much anymore. 

Gab: I'm glad. 

Once again we just sat side by side in silence watching the sunset then I rested my head upon his shoulder. 

Gab: Well, I gotta get going now Akhi. 

Akhi: Wait Gab, can we just stay like this? Until I wake up? 

Gab: Sure thing Akhi. 

Then niyakap nya ako as I savor the feeling of being in his arms... Even if it was just a dream...

Confused In Love Book 4 Chapter 7: The Wedding

The Wedding

Cherry: Akhi... Hey Akhi!

Akhi: *startled* Bessy? Bakit? 

Cherry: Nag de-day dream ka nanaman jan. 

Akhi: Sorry. Anyway, why are you all dressed up? Parang aattend ka ng kasal?

Cherry: Are you kidding me? This is an important day. You're looking pretty good yourself. You've cleaned up so well. You look good in that tuxedo. 

Akhi: Ha? 

Then I looked at myself and I am wearing a tux. 

Akhi: What's going on? 

I looked around and I can see our friends and families on both sides of the crowd divided by an isle. I looked in front of me and there Harold is standing but I'm thoroughly confused as to why he's dressed up like a priest. 

Akhi: Anung trip yan Harold? 

Harold: Shhhhh... Focus Akhi. This is a happy day. 

Akhi: Huh?

I looked around and everything is well decorated and it looks like we're in a wedding of some sort. Then someone tapped on my shoulder. I looked back and it was Gab. 

Gab: Hey there. Just relax. You're gonna be okay babe. 

He looks so magnificent. 

Akhi: Gab? What's going on? 

Gab: You've lost yourself again. *chuckle* It's our wedding day silly! 

Akhi: Oh! Sorry. I'm just a little occupied. 

Gab: Now now, it's about to start. 

Harold gave a speech and then read the vows. 

Harold: Akhi, do you take Gab to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and to honor him all the days of your life?

Akhi: I do.

Harold: Gab, do you take Akhi to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and to honor him all the days of your life?

He flashed that gorgeous smile at me and then squeezed my hand. 

Gab: I can't... I can't do that. 

Everyone is in shock. 

Akhi: Gab? What are you doing? 

I looked around and everyone is crying tears of blood. Na shock ako. Paglingon ko wala na si Gab sa tabi ko. I look in the priest direction pero wala na si Harold. Instead, there's a coffin and Gab is inside of it. I feel really frightened. I looked back at the crowd and they all look like dead people. Sobrang nakakatakot ang mga itsura nila and they're eyes are fixed in my direction, itim na itim ang mga mata, sobrang putla ng mukha at lumuluha't sumusuka ng dugo. I screamed with all my might and I ducked and covered my head. Suddenly, tumahimik ang paligid. I looked up and once again, Gab is in front of me. I stood up and when I looked at the crowd, nobody's there. Dalawa lang kami ni Gab. 

Akhi: Gab this is frightening! What just happened. 

Gab: *sigh* Akhi... There's nothing more I've ever wanted but this and I know very well that you do too. 

I remained silent and listened intently.

Gab: Take a step forward in your life. You saw those people. It's a reflection of how you're becoming. 

Akhi: And what is that? 

Gab: By heart, you've become a dead person. Bleeding and bleeding in pain and misery. You've shut everyone out and not allowing yourself to find love anymore. 

When I heard that I realized instantly that I am once again dreaming. 

Akhi: *crying* I told you many times over Gab, I'm not ready to let you go! 

Gab: *sigh* Akhi, for living like this, you're as good as dead. 

Umiyak nalang ako because I realize he's never going to stop convincing me. Then he hugged me. 

Gab: Akhi, you never lost me. I am always with you. In your heart. Even if you find a new love I'll be with you every step of the way. So don't deprive yourself. 

Akhi: Thanks Gab. I miss you so much! 

Gab: I miss you too Akhi. 

Nagtataka ako kung bakit garalgal ang boses nya. When I looked up at him he looked like a zombie! And he's rotting away! Napaatras ako sa takot and his body fell to the ground and I screamed!

Akhi: Aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!

Napabalikwas ako. Nakakatakot talaga ang panaginip ko. I looked at the clock and it was still 4:30 am at madilim pa. Nabalot ako ng takot kaya tumakbo ako papunta sa dati kong higaan kung saan natutulog si Rocel ngayon. 

Akhi: Ross!!! Tabi muna tayo please??

Nakatalukbong si Rocel so I pulled the blanket but nagulat ako sa nakita ko! It was a rotting corpse! Then someone knocked on the window at nung nilingon ko there's dead people trying to break in!

Akhi: Aaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

Then I woke up again. I looked at the clock and it was 4:30am and I am once again in Gab's bed. Rocel's hand is on my waist. I sighed of relief at nilingon ko sya only to see Gab right behind me and rotting! 

Akhi: Aaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

Napabalikwas ako ng gising sa sobrang takot. Rocel woke up and saw that I was trembling.

Rocel: Ugh! What happened? 

Akhi: I had a nightmare! Huhuhu

Rocel: *sigh* Sige halika dito. tabi muna tayo. Matulog ka na. 

Then she went back to sleep. I shut my eyes tightly trying to fall asleep again and I whispered 

Akhi: Gab please don't scare me like that. Even if you keep doing that to me, I still can't let go of my feelings so don't do that ever again. 

I know right? I am going crazy. Talking as if he was still alive. Anyway minutes later I finally fell asleep. 

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*Riiiiinnnnnngggggg*

I woke up to the sound of my phone. May tumatawag. Kahit antok pa ako I answered it. 

Akhi: Hello?

Cherry: Hey bessy. Kagigising mo lang ba? Sorry to wake you up. 

Akhi: Ayos lang. It's already 7:30am anyway. Bakit napatawag ka? 

Cherry: Well you know, I just think kailangan mo namang lumabas paminsan so I was planning na isama ka sa wedding ng anak ng business partner ni James. 

Akhi: Ugh... I don't know about that...

Cherry: Oh come on bessy!!! All you've been doing is work and then home at paulit ulit nalang. We never get a chance to go out anymore. 

Akhi: Bessy, what do you expect? Magpakasaya ako? Mag party party?

Cherry: Exactly!

Akhi: *sigh*

Cherry: look, hindi porkit you're gonna start to live your life again eh kakalimutan mo na si Gab. It's been a year. Somehow give yourself a chance to be happy naman. Kahit man lang sa ganitong bagay and besides, that wedding is gonna be grand! So many bigwigs are going to attend at super bongga. I'm sure mag eenjoy ka. Please bessy? Pretty please? 

Akhi: *sigh* kung hindi lang kita BFF eh hindi ako sasama. Sige na. What time are you guys gonna pick me up? 

Cherry: In about an hour and a half. 

Akhi: Okay see you then. 

Cherry: Sweet! Just remember, dress to impress!

Akhi: Yeah yeah! There's no one else to impress. 

Then I hung up. 

After that I did my morning routine and had breakfast, took a bath and then picked up something to wear. Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa isip ko but I really wanted to wear something from Gab's wardrobe. Yep! We never returned or burned or gave away his stuff because I requested it. I looked through his clothes and found something formal. Masyadong maluwag saakin ang damit nya, but I wore them anyway at ginawan ko nalang ng paraan para lang magkasya. I finished just in time that Cherry and James came to pick me up. Paglabas ko ng kwarto nakabihis din pala si Rocel at napatingin sya sa suot ko. She jumped because she was startled.

Rocel: My gosh Akhi! You scared me to death! 

Akhi: Huh? 

Rocel: You're wearing Gab's favorite outfit? Akala ko si Gab ka. Oops... Sorry...

Akhi: No it's okay. Anyway I wanted to wear this. It smells good. Smells like his perfume. 

Rocel: Did I mention it looks too loose on you? 

Akhi: Well I don't really care Ross. 

Rocel: *sigh* Okay if that's what you want. Tara na at naghihintay na sa labas sila James. 

Paglabas namin nang bahay Cherry stared at me and had a dissapointed look on her face.

Cherry: Bessy, ang sabi ko "dress to impress" Not "dress as depressed". 

Akhi: Okay, you know what? You guys need to quit complaining. It's either you be okay with my outfit or you get to go by yourselves. 

Cherry: Nevermind. *rolls her eyes* come on you guys we can't be late for this. 

At ayun nga pumasok na kami sa sasakyan and we're on the way to the wedding. 

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We arrived at venue and I must say the place is divine! The decoration, the people and everything you can see looks so expensive. As we took a seat, there goes the wedding entourage. Habang nagsisimula ang kasal at busy na busy sila Rocel sa panunuod hindi ko naman maiwasang marinig ang chismisan ng dalawang babaeng katabi ko. 

Chismosa 1: nako... Napakagwapo talaga ni Richard ano? Bagay na bagay sila ni Lorraine.

Chismosa 2: kung alam mo lang mare. Hindi mahal nung groom yung bride. 

Chismosa 1: Paano mo naman nalaman? 

Chismosa 2: Hello? I work for their company and I see them like literally every single day. 

Chismosa 1: O tapos? 

Chismosa 2: They don't even talk much. Kapag nag didinner silang magkasama halos walang imik. 

As I've heard their conversation I was thinking to myself, how could someone marry without love? 

Chismosa 2: Word has it, they did it to save their company. 

Chismosa 1: Iba naman ang narinig ko. Ang sabi, buntis daw yung babae and to avoid scandal, ipapakasal nila si Richard kay Lorraine in exchange for a huge favor. Like this is just a "beneficial wedding". Pero bali balita, gawa gawa lang daw nung babae ang tungkol sa pagbubuntis nya. It's fake!

The priest is now reading the vows. 

Priest: Lorraine, do you take Richard to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and to honor him all the days of your life?

Lorraine: I do.

Chismosa 2: Ang alam ko rin, Richard really disagrees to this. Pero nga kase sunud sunuran din sya kaya ayun wala syang magawa. 

Chismosa 1: Oo sabi ng isang friend ko he drives for miles just to have a drink in a bar sa ibang city and he gets drunk all the time. As in he looks like he's so miserable everytime and he never entertains anyone who tries to join him. Ngayon alam ko na ito siguro ang dahilan kung bakit ganoon. 

Chismosa 2: Kawawa naman sya hindi ba? Itong si Lorraine? Nako mare I'm telling you. Napaka sama ng ugali. One time nakita ko sila habang nagshoshopping sa mall nag inarte ang ate mo at ibinato ang shoes na sinusukat nya na pinili ni Richard. 

Chismosa 1: Bakit naman? 

Chismosa 2: Eh kase, ang pangit daw at mumurahin. Nako it was like one of the most expensive stores ng sapatos doon. 

Chismosa 1: Grabe naman! 

Chismosa 2: Eto pa! They were having dinner one time, Richard gave her a gift. Hindi nagustuhan ng ate mo, ayun! Binuhusan ng tubig sa mukha si Richard then nag walkout. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit pa sya nagpupumilit na ikasal sila eh ganun naman nya tratuhin yung lalaki. 

Upon hearing that hindi ko alam kung anong sumapi saakin at ako'y biglang nagalit at bigla akong lumakad  papunta sa altar. My depression and stress reined over me. 

Priest: Richard, do you take Lorraine to be your lawfully wedded wife? Do you promise to be faithful to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and to honor her all the days of your lif.....

Akhi: Stop this nonsense! 

Nagulat lahat ng mga tao sa ginawa ko. Everyone's eyes are fixed on me.  

Richard's dad: who the hell is this? 

Akhi: I am nobody. But I won't just sit idly knowing that someone is going through a marriage that's gonna make their life miserable! You can't just go through this marriage without loving the other half! Might as well just kill yourself! 

Cherry: Bessy anung ginagawa mo? 

The groom looked at me at parang nakikinig at naghihintay sya ng susunod kong sasabihin. 

James: Oh dear...

Rocel: *murmurs* No way! He didn't!! This is so embarrassing!

Akhi: I have lost someone I love with my whole being. I regret every single mistake that I've done that has put me through this situation. 

Rocel: Oh gosh this was a really bad idea Che.

Akhi: isang sitwasyon na hindi ko na kailan man matatakasan. You see, this is what wrong decisions put you through. Yung inakala mo na tama yung ginagawa mo, na akala mo para sa ikabubuti yun pala lalo mong ikasasama! 

I told everyone about the time na may sakit si Gab and I lied na pupunta ako kay Cherry to comfort her because she and James had a fight when in reality makikipag kita ako kay Aaron because I thought he was going to discus some important matters about work. Ang gusto ko lang naman ay magpahinga nalang si Gab at wag mag alala. But because of that one simple and innocent mistake, I faced this irreversible consequence. Hindi ko nga lang binanggit mga pangalan. 

Lorraine: Richard, don't listen to him! We don't even know this freak! 

Cherry: Sh*t anung gagawin ko Ross? Hindi ako pwedeng pumunta doon dahil kasama ko si James... Baka magka problema sila ng business partner nya pag nagkataon. They know me! 

Rocel: Don't worry. I've got this. 

Richard's dad: Call the security.

Akhi: Follow what your heart is telling you before you do something regrettable and irreversible. 

I was looking straight at the groom's eyes. 

Bigla akong hinila ni Rocel.

Rocel: Akhi! Tara na! You have to stop! This is not our problem. 

She did it para hindi ako abutan ng security at kaladkarin at para narin hindi ako masyadong mapahiya. As she was pulling me away, magkatitigan kami ng groom. Naaawa ako sa kanya. Pero kase unlike me, he has a choice. He can get out of this situation. 

Madaling kumuha ng taxi si Rocel and we headed straight home. Back at the wedding, while the parents are doing some crowd control, everybody assumed that the wedding would still go on. When everyone calmed down and after they explained that I was just a random guy who went out on a rant, ipinatuloy parin ng kanilang mga parents ang wedding, but then when the priest was about to read the vow for Richard, he gestures for him to stop. 

Priest: What is it? Something you wanna say Richard? 

Lorraine: What are you doing Richard? 

Richard: Wait... This isn't right. 

Lorraine: *murmurs* Richard, I'm warning you. Don't Humiliate me in front of all these people! 

Richard turned to face the crowd and looked at everyone. Then he spoke. 

Richard: Ladies and gentlemen, friends and families, I thank all of you for getting out of your busy schedules just to witness this life changing event. I want to apologize to everyone... 

The crowd murmurs

Richard: I cannot go through this marriage. Hindi ito ang gusto ko para sa sarili ko.

He faced Lorraine

Richard: I'm so sorry Lorraine but I can't do this. 

With her teeth clenched, Lorraine slapped Richard hard on the face. 

Lorraine: What the hell Richard?! you got us up to this point only to ruin it?! 

Richard: I'm really sorry. 

Then he faced his family and the bride's family. 

Richard: I'm so sorry. 

Then he ran away. 

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At home, nakatikim ako ng matinding sermon kay Rocel.

Rocel: What the hell Akhi?! You cannot trespass someone elses life like that especially strangers! 

Ako naman ay narealize na mali nga ang ginawa ko. I got so carried away because of all the emotions inside of me. 

Akhi: I know. I'm really sorry. I got carried away. 

She sighed angrily and arms crossed.

Rocel: Akhi I get that you're still hurting pero pwede ba? Move on move on din! Kase hindi na healthy para sa'yo yang ginagawa mo sarili mo! 

After saying that nilayasan na nya ako at naiwan akong nagmumuni muni sa sala. Nakaramdam ako ng matinding kahihiyan remembering the scene that I've caused. So sumandal ako sa sofa at umiyak nalang. Maya maya pa, nakatulog ako. 

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I am all alone sitting on a bench, in a park just eating icecream. I looked at myself at nagulat ako. Bakit wala ang mommy at daddy ko? I started crying like a 9 year old kid... But wait... I am a 9 year old kid. Suddenly, may nakatayo sa harap ko at may dala dalang baloons. 

Gab: I must say, I'm so proud of you Akhi. 

I looked up and it was Gab.

Akhi: Proud of me? For what? 

He gestured for me to give him room to sit and so I did. Pagkaupo nya

Gab: What you did at the wedding today, it was brave of you. 

I immediately realized that I am dreaming. 

Akhi: *sigh* I don't know kung makakabuti sakin na nakakausap kita in my dreams but anyway, I'm happy. Thank you. 

Gab: Soon... 

Akhi: Huh?

Gab: Soon Akhi... You will find love... And I'll be with you through it all...

He kissed me in the forehead and then I woke up. 

Akhi: Gab?

I looked around and once again nasa sala ako. Remembering my dream, I just smiled and headed to my room to get changed and prepare dinner for everyone. 

Confused In Love Book 4 Chapter 6: The Art of Letting Go

The Art of Letting Go

Akhi: Get off me you perve!

Akhi yelled at the guy who's on top of him and accidentally touching his crotch dahil sa pagkakabangga nila. 

Gab: Sorry! Hindi ko sinasadya. Pasensya na may iniisip kase ako. 

Akhi: Well next time tumingin ka sa dinadaanan mo! Hindi yung kung saan saan lumilipad yang utak mo! 

Gab: Sorry talaga. 

Pinupulot nila ang kanilang mga libro. When they stood up, Akhi dust himself off while Gab remained standing in front of him. 

Gab: Again, I'm so sorry. 

Akhi: Puro ka sorry. Wala namang magagawa ang so......

Nang makita ni Akhi ang nakabanggaan nya, sya ay napatulala. Napakagwapong lalaki. 

Gab: Alam ko. But I hope you forgive me. 

Akhi: Aaa.a.mmmm eh ah.. Ka.. Ano.. Am...

Gab: Ha? Hindi kita maintindihan. 

Akhi: I mean I'm sorry din if I'm too rude. 

Gab: Ayos lang kasalanan ko naman eh. Ako dapat nagsosorry. 

Akhi: Just forget about it. 

Gab: I'm Francisco Gabriel Martinez, Gab for short. Senior High. 

Akhi: Nice to meet you Gab. I'm Matthew Akhi Ortega. Akhi for short. Grade 10. 

Gab: Nice to meet you too Akhi. If you don't mind me asking, Bakit Akhi? 

Akhi: Well, my dad's nickname is Aki without the H and my mom's Khim. So they mixed it up and then came up with the name. Is it strange? 

Gab: No. I like it. Akhi... Sarap bigkasin. 

May hint na kaagad si Gab na bading si Akhi. Akhi blushed upon hearing that. He was about to talk again when Gab spoke

Gab: Sige Akhi. I guess I'll see you around? Bye. 

Before he could ask for his number, Gab came running off like he was in a hurry. 

Akhi: Oh gosh I didn't even get his number. *sigh*

Akhi was startled when Celine nudged him and asked

Rocel: huy?! Ano't nagbubuntong hininga ka jan? 

Cherry: Oh my gosh Ross, I think he's in love. 

Akhi: Bakla, ba't mo alam? Manghuhula ka ba? 

Cherry: Uh! Hello?! We just saw you talking to the handsome honor student. We saw your reaction nung makita mo mukha nya. 

Akhi: Well may maitatago ba naman ako sa'yo? Kilalang kilala mo na ako eh. 

Rocel: That's why we're besties y'know. 

Cherry: In fairness may chemistry kayong dalawa. 

Akhi: You think so? 

Rocel: Reminder lang, nasa exclusive na private school tayo. He managed to get in here dahil sa scholarship. Mahirap pa sa daga ang family ng lalaking yon so you can stop dreaming of him. 

Cherry: That's too rude Rocel! 

Rocel: Well I'm concerned lang naman. Besides, hindi magugustuhan ng mga ate ni Akhi kapag naging sila and probably magsusumbong yun sa parents nila. Do you want that to happen? No! So don't argue with me. 

Akhi: Napaka advance ha? Hindi ko nga nakuha yung number tapos magiging kami pa? 

Rocel: Asa ka namang may celphone yun.

Cherry: Okay Rocel that's too much! Oras na para lagyan ng tape ang bibig mo. Tara na nga lang and we should have lunch now. 

Habang papunta sa cafeteria ay hindi parin mawala sa isip ni Akhi si Gab. He wondered if their paths would ever cross again. 

It was past sunset when Gab came home. Dahil naglalakad lang sya araw araw from home and going to school. Magsasaka ang kanyang amang si Gideon at may malubhang karamdaman naman ang kanyang inang si Celine. Ang tanging nagpapaliwanag lamang sa kanilang tahanan tuwing gabi ay isang bumbilya. Subsob parati sa pag aaral si Gab at kapag walang assignments and projects tumutulong sya sa tatay nya na mag araro. 

Kinabukasan sa skwelahan, maagang pumasok si Akhi at nag aabang sa gate ng kanilang school hoping to see Gab. Lumipas ang ilang oras marami nang students ang pumasok at sya ay nasa gate parin. 

Guard: Oh? Bakit nandyan ka pa sir Akhi? Male-late ka na for first period. 

Akhi: Saglit nalang po. May inaabangan lang ako. 

Maya maya pa, dumating na si Gab. Humahangos. Pagpasok nya, nakita nya si Akhi na nakatayo sa gate. 

Gab: *huff* Hi Akhi. What are you doing here? Alam ko start na ng first period 30 minutes ago? 

He frowned at Gab for a moment then sighed and smiled.

Akhi: Well, I don't know but I wanted to see you again but you didn't even give me your number. So I waited for you. 

Isinandal ni Gab ang kanyang kamay sa gate at tumayong tuwid na para bang nang aakit. 

Gab: Oh, hehe, and why would you do that? *wink*

Akhi: *blush* Well, um.. I'm gonna be straight forward. I'm gay okay? In case you didn't notice and I like you. 

Lumapit sya bigla kay Akhi and he's just an inch away from his face and he spoke in a sexy voice

Gab: am I that irresistible? 

Napalunok si Akhi sa ginawa ni Gab. 

Akhi: Well now that you know it I guess I'm entitled to voice myself out. Naiinis ako kase ang tagal mong dumating. I am late for first period dahil lang sa'yo. 

Gab didn't answer. Umupo nalang sya at humawak sa kanyang noo and rested. Tinabihan sya ni Akhi but he wasn't looking at him. 

Gab: Kinailangan ko kaseng bumili ng gamot ni nanay kanina. Eh malayo ang pharmacy samin. Tumakbo na nga ako eh para di ma late pero heto, late parin. 

Akhi: Well perhaps mag taxi or gosh even tricycle?

Gab: Hahaha. You rich people. You don't have any idea about the struggles people like me have to face every single day of our lives. 

Akhi: I didn't mean to offe...

Gab: Don't bother. I'm not offended anyway. Tanggap ko naman na ganito ang buhay. Hindi lahat priveleged. So if I wanna be better than I am now, then I should do better. Kaya nga nag aaral akong mabuti. 

Akhi: *sigh* I wish I was like you. Driven with so much determination and motivation. 

Gab: Kamusta ba Grades mo? 

Akhi: Well.... Haaayy... I don't give much effort in my studies so you could imagine what that means for me. 

Napa iling iling si Gab. 

Akhi: If you're so smart then why don't you tutor me? 

Gab: Gusto ko man eh masyado akong busy. 

Akhi: Busy? What could you possibly be busy with other than studying? You don't have much peers... You didn't join any clubs. 

Gab: *sigh* Babe, I don't have to tell you everything. 

Akhi: *blush blush some more* Did you just call me babe?

Gab: Hahaha. Just teasin' you. Ligawan mo muna ako. 

Akhi: At bakit ako?! 

Gab: Well you're the gay guy... Hahaha

Akhi: That's offensive ha! 

Gab: You're the one who said it. Besides, hindi lang naman ikaw ang prangka dito. 

Akhi: haay naku! Well anyway sige na e tutor mo na ako. I'll pay you for every session. Let's say 500 per session. 

Gab: Ha?! 500?

Akhi: Ba't parang gulat na gulat ka? Ang liit na halaga lang nun. 

Gab: *sigh* I forgot who I was talking to. *murmurs* Typical rich kid. 

Akhi heard that so he murmured back

Akhi: Flirty at paasang boy tease. 

Gab: Anung sabi mo? 

Akhi: Wala! So anu na? Pumapayag ka na ba? 

Gab: Well if you insist. I guess gustong gusto mo talaga akong makasama. 

Akhi: Hmmmp! 

Then he looked away. Maya maya pa

Gab: So ano? Uupo nalang tayo dito? Hindi na ba tayo papasok? 

Akhi: wait! Before you go, give me your number! 

Gab: Frustrating as it is, I don't have the luxury of having a handphone. 

Biglang nagkalkal ng bag si Akhi. 

Akhi: Here! Use my spare phone. If you're gonna be my tutor we've gotta stay in touch. 

Gab hesitated. Ayaw nyang parang binibigyan sya ng limos ng ibang tao. But then again may point si Akhi so he accepted. 

Akhi: Well then we should be off to class. See you later Gab. 

Gab: Sure Akhi. 

Ever since then palagi nang nagkikita ang dalawa for their tutoring session. Sabay silang nag lulunch break at hindi nanga sumasama si Akhi sa kanyang mga besties mag lunch. Napapansin na ito ng kanyang mga ateng si Lyssa at si Audrey. Months have passed and their routine never changed. Isang hapon sa CR ng mga lalaki, Gab was being bullied by other guys from the school. There was 3 of them at hinahamak nila si Gab. Tinutulak tulak nila ito at dinuduro duro. 

Mackhoy: T*ngina ano? Fight us honor student. Hahaha 

Andrew: What's the matter? Afraid of losing your scholarship because you can't really afford to be in this school? 

Aaron: Oi pare tingnan mo o? Hahha Yung bag nya tahi tahi. Hahaha

Hindi sila nilalabanan ni Gab. He's afraid of expulsion. Wala syang magawa kundi tanggapin ang ginagawa sa kanya ng mga schoolmates nyang matapobre. 

Nagalit si Akhi at pumasok at pinagtanggol si Gab. 

Akhi: Hey you stupid good for nothing scumbags! Stop bullying Gab! Wala syang ginagawang masama sa inyo! 

Aaron: Oh who's this? Hahaha you're boyfriend? 

Akhi: I'm his friend and I won't stand for this! He got in this school fair and square! Why don't you just leave him alone? 

Mackhoy: Hoy bakla! Wag kang nakikialam dito ha! 

Andrew: What you gonna do huh? 

Akhi: Mas bakla kayo. Tatlo kayo binubully nyo nag iisa lang. My gosh nakakahiya. 

Aaron: Tarantado to ah?! 

Akmang susuntukin ni Aaron si Akhi ng biglang hinawakan ni Gab ang kamay ni Aaron. 

Gab: Saktan at pahiyain nyo na ako... Wag lang si Akhi. Wag nyo syang idadamay!!! 

At nagsuntukan na nga sila. Pinagtulungan nila si Gab pero sanay din sa basag ulo si Gab kaya naman hindi umubra ang tatlo. Bugbog sarado sila kaya't nagsi-alis na ang mga ito. Then Gab locked the door para hindi na muna makabalik ang mga ito. 

Akhi: Gab! Are you okay?! You shouldn't have done that! Ayos lang ako kahit gawin nila yon! Dumudugo ang labi mo at may pasa ka pa! Bakit mo ginawa yun?! You didn't have to do that. What if you get expelled?

Tinitigan ni Gab ng masama si Akhi. Then bigla syang lumapit dito and he kissed him so hard. Nung una nanlaban si Akhi dala ng pagkabigla pero bumigay din sya dahil matagal nya nang inaasam na mahalikan si Gab. When they break from the kiss, Gab spoke

Gab: *Breathing heavily* I guess now you know what this means... 

Akhi: Gab... I.... 

Hinawakan sya ni Gab sa magkabilang pisngi at tinitigan sa mata. 

Gab: Do you love me? 

Tinitigan munang mabuti ni Akhi si Gab bago ito sumagot. 

Akhi: Of course I love you. *blush* From the very first time I saw you, I instantly fell in love with you. 

Gab: Kiss me. I wanna feel it. Kiss me like you mean it. 

Then they kissed again. Slowly and passionately. Every second was filled with so much love and desire. 

When they got out after class Akhi decided to follow Gab home since they're now a couple. He wanted to know what kind of life Gab is living in. Hindi man sya sanay ay sinamahan nyang maglakad si Gab pauwi because Gab refuses to ride on a taxi. Magdidilim na nang makarating sila sa bahay.

Gab: Mano po tay. Kaibigan ko nga po pala si Akhi. Dito daw po sana sya maghahapunan. 

Akhi: Magandang gabi po sa inyo. 

Gideon: Pagpasensyahan mo na ang bahay namin iho ha? Sana ay maging komportable ka. Ako'y magkakatay lang ng manok sandali upang maihanda sa hapunan. 

Akhi: Maraming salamat po. 

Sunod ay pumasok naman sila sa silid ng kanyang ina. 

Gab: Nay mano po. Mabuti na po ba an pakiramdam ninyo? 

Celine: Mabuti buti naman na anak. Salamat sa gamot ha? Hayaan mo't pag ako'y gumaling ay tutulungan na kita ulit sa mga gawaing bahay. Pagpasensyahan mo na si nanay. 

Dalawang taon nang bedridden ang nanay ni Gab. When he saw that, Akhi felt so much pity for Gab. 

Gab: Nay, andito nga pala kaibigan ko nay si Akhi po. 

Celine: Iho Gab, ikuha mo muna si nanay ng maiinom ha? 

Gab: Sige po nay. Sandali lang Akhi ha? Pakitingnan muna si nanay. 

Nakita ni nanay Celine kung paano magtinginan ang dalawa. Naramdaman narin nya kung anong namamagitan sa kanila. Malakas ang kanyang pangdama pagdating sa kanyang anak. 

Celine: Iho Akhi, maari bang tumabi ka sa akin at ako'y may sasabihin sa iyo. 

Akhi: Sige po. Anu po iyon? 

Celine: Mabait na bata yang si Gab. Maalalahanin at mapagmahal. Sana ay wag kang lilisan sa kanyang tabi. 

Akhi is perplexed. He's so sure that no one ever told Gab's mom about them since ngayong araw lang naman naging sila. Ganun pa man, he just nodded in agreement and stayed in her side until Gab comes back. 

At Akhi's home, alalang alala na ang daddy nyang si Harold at mommy nyang si Grace dahil gabing gabi na at hindi man lang nag paalam sa kanila ang kanilang anak na lalaki. 

Grace: He never stayed outside this late before. Harold I'm so worried about our son. 

Harold: Pag uwi ng batang yan malilintikan sakin yan. 

Lyssa: Dad, I think sumama sya don sa mahirap na honor student sa school. I think the name's Gab? 

Audrey: Yes! They're pretty close. I hate to break it down to you, but I think he's dating this guy. 

Harold: Pasaway talaga ang batang yan! I can tolerate that he's a homosexual pero magboyfriend?! That's too much and hindi rin sya sumunod sa curfew. 

Lyssa: Dad, we informed you not to make you angry but only to make you aware of the situation so don't be too hard on Akhi. 

Audrey: Please don't hurt him. 

Harold: Kailan ko ba kayo pinagbuhatan ng kamay? I know exactly the kind of punishment that I'm gonna do na siguradong matututo sya. 

Matapos maghapunan ni Akhi ay nagpaalam na sya sa pamilya ni Gab. Nang makalayo sila sa bahay at dumako sa isang madilim na eskenita, they kissed one more time and they were also feeling up each other with their hands but before it leads to anything sexual they restrained themselves at pinasakay na ni Gab si Akhi. 

Pagkauwi ni Akhi, Naka abang sa gate ang kanyang daddy. Napagalitan sya ng husto. Then inilatag na ng daddy nya ang consequences ng kanyang ginawa. 

Harold: I'm going to confiscate your phones and araw araw kang babantayan ng mga ate mo. 

Lyssa & Audrey: Dad?!

Harold: Wag kayong mag reklamo! At ikaw bata ka, hindi ka na makikipag kita sa lalaking yon maliwanag ba?! 

Akhi: *crying* I'm sorry dad. 

Kinabukasan, nakita ni Gab na kasama ni Akhi ang mga ate nya. Tinawag nya ito ngunit hindi sya pinansin ng mga ito. So he just continued walking but on the way to class, one of the teachers stopped him and escorted him to the principal's office. Turns out, the bullies complained about him and then the inevitable happened. He is now expelled because the bullies parents are furious and they wanted him out of the school. There was nothing he could do about it so he just cried and stepped out of the school but before he did, he took one last look at the school and watched his dreams died down. Nagkaron sya ng matinding desire na makausap si Akhi. To find comfort in him but he couldn't find him. So instead he just went home. He kept on texting Akhi but there was no reply. He felt like everything, including Akhi, has abandoned him. A month later, Gab's mom died. There was still no signs of Akhi, and Gab is out of school until the next school year. Few weeks after that, habang naglalakad si Gab, binalikan sya ng mga nang bully sa kanya at may dala dala pang mga barkada. He was beated down until he got unconscious. Buti nalang, may magandang loob na sumagip sa kanya at dinala sya sa hospital. It was a woman named Donya Sarah. Gab is now in the hospital and all the bills are paid by her. Dali daling nagpunta sa hospital si Akhi upang kamustahin si Gab. Pagpasok nya sa kwarto, walang malay si Gab. 

Akhi: Gab I'm so sorry! Huhuhu... 

Then suddenly, nagtaka sya. Why does this feel so familiar? Bakit parang nakikita nya lahat nang nangyayari sa buhay ni Gab? Then Gab spoke. 

Gab: Because none of this is real. 

Gab answered the questions in my mind as if I've spoken them. 

Gab: Everything here is your imagination Akhi. You narrate the story. I help create this world for you. 

Suddenly, nakatayo na sya sa likod ko.

Gab: You see... No matter how much we try, the story just goes the same way. We get hurt, and separated. 

Akhi: Gab, why are you doing this? 

Gab: Akhi, I would never hurt you. This is our fate. It's being shown to you in different forms by your unconscious mind. This is neither of our control. 

Akhi: I don't know what to say... It hurts so much... I can't let go... Never... 

Gab: You have to... Do it for me... Please Akhi... 

Akhi: Gab... *crying* this is so unfair... Huhuhu

Gab: You have to let me go my love... 

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I woke up with so much tears in my eyes. 

Akhi: Gab, I'm so sorry. I just can't do what you're asking me to do. 

Rocel: Akhi gising ka na pala. Bakit nagsasalita kang mag isa jan? 

I just sighed an looked at her. 

Rocel: Let me guess... You dreamed about him again right? 

Then once again tears started flowing from my eyes. She sighed and sat beside my bed. 

Rocel: Did he ask you to let go again? 

Akhi: He did. 

I shut my eyes tightly and cried enough to let Rocel know that my answer is I'm not ready to do that. 

Rocel: Akhi, hindi ko mahihingi sa'yo na pagbigyan ang kahilingan nya because I know it still hurts so much. 

She rubbed my back to comfort me. 

Rocel: well at least we should have breakfast now. Come with me. Nagluto si Gideon ng favorite mo. 

Akhi: Susunod na ako Ross just let me get my mind straight. 

Rocel: Okay Akhi. 

As she left, I took the picture frame with a photo of me and Gab and I hug it tightly. I know it's so selfish of me but I am not ready. Maybe someday Gab... But not now... Not when my heart is still wounded... Not when I am still longing for you... But I hope someday... Someday I will...

Confused In Love Book 4 Chapter 5: A Fairy Tale Farewell

A Fairy Tale Farewell

Mackhoy: I take it that you've heard about what happened to Gab. 

Aaron: *sigh* yan bang dahilan kung bakit nakipagkita ka sakin? 

Mackhoy: What? You expect me na makipag kita sa'yo to have fun? 

Aaron: So ano 'to? Kokonsensyahin mo ko about his death?! I didn't cause that. It happened as it was supposed to. 

Mackhoy: You were a big part of it! If hindi mo sinira ang relationship ni Akhi at Gab all of this wouldn't have happened! 

Aaron: So ngayon lumalabas ng katotohanan? You want to get close to me just for Cherry and Akhi to get even? Ganun ba?!

Mackhoy: You know what? I actually thought you could change. I considered na totohanin ang panliligaw ko sa'yo but I was wrong. You're awful and you deserve no one. 

Tumayo si Mackhoy at iniwang nag iisa si Aaron. Hindi man lan sya lumingon. Then Aaron regretfully whispered to himself. 

Aaron: So this is all my fault huh? Baka nga tama si Mackhoy. I deserve no one. This is what I have become. How did I even get this far? 

After that, Aaron decided to leave the country. One month later lumipad sya papuntang Canada at doon nya ipinagamot ang kanyang ina. 

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Sa isang malayong kaharian may dalawang pusong nagmamahalan. Ang dating prinsipe na si Gabriel at ang prinsipeng si Akhi. Si Gabriel ay naulila na noong sakupin ng Haring si Gerard at Reyna Audrey ang kanilang kaharian at pinaslang ang kanyang mga magulang. Lingid sa kaalaman ng hari at reyna na sya ang prinsipeng hinahanap nila pagkat sya ay ipinagkatiwala ng kanyang mga magulang sa isang panday upang mailigtas ito sa kapahamakan. Lumipas ang tatlong taon at sya ngayon ay labindalawang taong gulang na. Isang hapon tumutulong si Gabriel sa kanyang amain na si Harold na magpanday. 

Harold: Anak, magpahinga ka muna. Heto ang pera at bumili ka ng tinapay upang tayo'y makakain. Alam kong pagod at nagugutom ka na. 

Gabriel: Salamat po ama. Sige po. Babalik din po ako agad. 

Nagtungo sa nayon si Gabriel gaya ng utos ng kanyang amain. Pagkarating nya ay agad syang bumili ng tinapay at agaran ding nag lakad papauwi. Sa di inaasahang pagkakataon, may nakabangga syang isang bata. Si prinsipe Akhi. Nakasuot sya ng balabal upang hindi mapansin ng taong bayan na tumakas lang sya sa palasyo. Nahulog ang mga tinapay na binili ni Gabriel. 

Akhi: Ipag paumanhin mo! Hindi ko sinasadya. 

Nakayuko si Gabriel habang pinupulot ang mga tinapay. 

Gabriel: Ayos lang. Hindi pa naman siguro ito marumi. 

Nakita ni Akhi ang kasuotang basahan ng binata at ang sira nitong sapatos. Naawa sya dito kaya tinulungan nya itong pulutin ang mga tinapay. Habang nagpupulot, biglang naghawak ang kanilang kamay at napatingin sa isa't isa. Nang makita ni prinsipe Akhi ang gwapo at maamong mukha ni Gabriel ay parang may kakaiba syang naramdaman. Ngunit hindi pa nya batid kung ano iyon dahil sya ay sampung taong gulang pa lamang noon. 

Gabriel: Isa ka bang prinsipe? 

Akhi: A..a..a oo. 

Sabay silang tumayo. 

Gabriel: Anung ginagawa mo dito sa nayon? Hindi ba't bawal kang lumabas ng walang kasamang alipin at kawal? 

Akhi: Tinakasan ko sila. 

Gabriel: Bakit mo naman ginawa iyon? 

Akhi: Nais ko lang sanang matikman ang tinapay dito sa bayan. 

Gabriel: Bakit dito mo pa naisipang kumain ng tinapay? Hindi ba't maraming pagkain sa palasyo? 

Akhi: parati kaseng naikukwento ng kaibigan kong anak ng tagapagsilbi sa palasyo na napakasarap daw ng mga tinapay dito. Hindi raw maihahalintulad sa mga iniluluto doon. 

Gabriel: Ganun ba? 

Akhi: Yun nga lang, hindi ako nakapagdala ng salapi. Kaya wala ding silbi ang pagtakas ko. Ang masama pa nyan, siguradong mapapagalitan ako. 

Gabriel: Wag ka mag alala. Heto o. Sa'yo nalang to. Hindi pa naman ako nagugutom. 

Akhi: Talaga? Salamat! 

Dumako sila sa likod ng panaderya upang magtago at naupo sa lupa. Sinamahan ni Gabriel si prinsipe Akhi habang kumakain. 

Akhi: Totoo nga ang sabi ng kaibigan ko. Napakasarap nga. 

Naubos ng prinsipe ang dalawang tinapay ngunit sya ay gutom parin. Napansin ito ni Gabriel. 

Gabriel: Pasensya ka na. Nais ko mang ibigay ang natitirang tinapay sa iyo eh para ito sa aking ama. 

Akhi: ang ibig mong sabihin, wala ka nang kakainin pa? 

Gabriel: Ayos lang yun. Mukhang mas kailangan mong kumain. 

Na antig ang puso ng Prinsipe sa ginawa ni Gabriel. Maya maya tumayo na sila. 

Gabriel: Kailangan ko nang umalis at baka mag alala ang aking ama. 

Akhi: maraming salamat. Ano nga pala ang iyong ngalan ginoo? 

Gabriel: ang pangalan ko ay Gabriel. Ikaw anong pangalan mo? 

Akhi: ang pangalan ko ay Akhi. 

Gabriel: Akhi... Hinding hindi ko makakalimutan ang pangalan mo. Kaya't sana ay ganun karin. 

Papaalis na sana si Gabriel ng tawagin syang muli ni prinsipe Akhi. Lumapit ito sa kanya at hinalikan sya sa pisngi. Namula si Gabriel at humawak sa kanyang pisngi. 

Akhi: pasasalamat lamang iyan Gabriel. Sana magkita pa tayong muli.

Bago pa man makaalis si Gabriel ay natagpuan na si prinsipe Akhi ng kanyang mga tagapagbantay. 

Umuwi si Gabriel na may ngiti sa labi habang hindi mawaglit sa isip nya ang batang kanyang nakilala at ang halik nito sa kanyang pisngi. 

Kinabukasan, may dumating sa kanilang tahanan na tagapagsilbi mula sa palasyo at may dala dalang mga pagkain. 

Tagapagsilbi: Ipinadala ako ng prinsipe upang ihatid sa inyo ang mga pagkaing ito. 

Harold: Anu pong dahilan at kami ay pinahatiran ng ganito ka raming pagkain? 

Tagapagsilbi: Hindi ko po alam. Ang sabi lang po saakin ay palihim kong dalhin sa inyo ang mga ito. Para daw ito sa kanyang kaibigan at sa kanyang ama. At ang liham naman na ito ay para po sa inyong anak. 

Pagka abot ng liham kay Gabriel ay umalis na ang tagapagsilbi. 

Aking kaibigan,

           Ikinalulungkot kong sabihin na baka hindi tayo makapagkita sa mahabang panahon dahil pinag igting nang aking mga magulang ang pagbabantay sa akin dahil sa ginawa kong pagtakas. Kaya sana tanggapin mo ang mga alay kong ito tanda ng pasasalamat ko sa'yo. Umaasa ako na muli tayong magkikita sa hinaharap at sana hindi mo ako kalimutan. 

                                             Prinsipe Akhi

Harold: Anak, hindi mo dapat kaibiganin ang prinsipe. Anak sya ng pumaslang sa dating Hari at Reyna na iyong tunay na mga magulang. Wag mo sanang kakalimutan iyon. 

Gabriel: Opo ama. 

Batid man ni Gabriel ang mga bagay na iyon, hindi nya alam kung bakit hindi nya magawang kamuhian ang prinsipe. Ngunit buo parin ang loob nyang maghiganti sa Hari balang araw sa kanyang paglaki. 

Lumipas ang apat na taon at ganap nang binata si Gabriel. Sya ay nagsanay upang maging isang mahusay na mandirigma sa palasyo. Hindi pa sya ganap na kasapi ng mga mandirigma noong mga panahong iyon. Isang araw, nangangabayo ang prinsipe kasama ang kanyang mga kawal. Tinakasan nanaman nya ang mga ito at malayang nagtungo sa kakahuyan. Sa kasamaang palad may nakasalubong syang masasamang loob. Hinarang sya ng mga ito at pinalibutan. Nung sya ay sasaktan na ng isang armadong lalaki ay dumating si Gabriel at nakipaglaban sa mga ito. Natalo nya ang iyon ngunit sya ay lubha ring nasaktan. 

Akhi: Maraming salamat sa'yo. 

Gabriel: Walang anuman. Basta't para sa'yo  Prinsipe Akhi. 

Akhi: Paano mo ako nakilala? 

Gabriel: Nakakalungkot namang isipin na nakalimutan mo na ako. 

Agad na nakilala ni Akhi si Gabriel. 

Akhi: Gabriel? Totoo ba ito? Hindi ako makapaniwala! Nagkita tayong muli at ako'y iyong nakilala. 

Gabriel: Syempre naman. Hindi ko pa nakalimutan yung araw na hinalikan mo ako sa pisngi. 

Biglang namula si Akhi at nag iwas ng tingin. 

Akhi: Paano mo naman nalaman na ako'y naririto? 

Gabriel: madalas akong mag ensayo sa kakahuyang ito. Di ko inaasahan na makikita kita rito. 

Akhi: Mabuti na lamang at nataong ikaw ay nag eensayo. 

Gabriel: Aray! 

Napatingin si Akhi kay Gabriel at nakita nya na may sugat ito. 

Akhi: Nako! Kailangan nating gamutin ang sugat mo. 

Gabriel: Hayaan mo na balewala ito.

Akhi: Anung balewala?! Tara! May kubo sa may pastulan di kalayuan mula dito. Doon ako parati nagtutungo kapag naiinip ako sa palasyo. Pumunta tayo doon upang gamutin ang sugat mo. 

Nagpunta nga ang dalawang binata doon at ginamot ng prinsipe ang kanyang sugat. 

Mula noon, halos araw araw na silang nagkikita sa kubo na iyon. Magkasama buong maghapon at minsan ay natutulog ng magkasama. Habang tumatagal ay nahuhulog ang loob nila sa isa't isa. Isang araw, maaliwalas ang kalangitan at kapwa sila nakahiga sa damuhan sa ilalim ng puno at nag uusap. Maya maya pa pareho silang nakatulog. Naunang magising ang prinsipe. Habang natutulog si Gabriel ay pinagmamasdan sya nito. Napakaguwapo at maamo ang kanyang mukha. Hindi napigilan ni Akhi ang kanyang sarili at dahan dahan nyang inilapit ang kanyang labi sa labi ni Gabriel at tuluyan nya itong hinalikan. Nagising si Gabriel at nagulat si Akhi kaya ito'y biglang tumalikod at namumula. Nangiti si Gabriel at napa iling. 

Gabriel: Hindi mo man lang ba ako hihintaying magising bago mo ako gawaran ng iyong halik? 

Lalong napahiya si Akhi. Hindi nya alam ang kanyang gagawin. Hindi rin nya alam ang kanyang sasabihin. 

Maya maya pa, lumapit sa kanya si Gabriel at sya ay niyakap. 

Gabriel: Wag kang matakot at wag kang mahiya Akhi. Noon pa man ay alam kong may pagtatangi ka na sa akin. 

Akhi:Paano mo naman nasabi ang mga bagay na iyan?

Gabriel: Halata naman. Hahaha. Pero may ipagtatapat ako sa'yo. 

Tapos sya ay bumulong sa tenga ni Akhi. 

Gabriel: Iniibig din kita. 

Sa pagkakarinig ni Akhi, agad syang humarap kay Gabriel

Akhi: totoo ba ang mga salitang iyong binibitawan?

Kinuha ni Gabriel ang kamay ni Akhi at iniligay ito sa kanyang bruskong dibdib. Naramdaman ni Akhi ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ni Gabriel. 

Gabriel: Hindi nagsisinungaling ang puso. Alam ko na noon pa man ikaw ang tinitibok nito. 

Naluha si Akhi sa lubhang pagkagalak. Hinawakan sya sa pisngi ni Gabriel at dahan dahang naglapit ang kanilang mga labi at pinagsaluhan nila ang isang maalab na halik. Nagdaan pa ang panahon at ganap nang kasapi ng mga mandirigmang pampalasyo si Gabriel. Dalawamput dalawang taong gulang na sya ngayon. Tuloy parin ang lihim na pag iibigan ng dalawa ngunit hindi na sila madalas nakakapag kita. 

Isang araw nagdaos ng isang pagdiriwang sa palasyo upang parangalan ang kanilang bisitang dumating mula sa ibang kaharian. 

Haring Gerard: Malugod namin kayong tinatanggap sa aming palasyo, Haring Aaron. 

Aaron: Maraming salamat sa inyo kamahalan. 

Reyna Audrey: Malaki ang pasasalamat namin sa iyong pagtulong sa aming mga mandirigma na puksain ang mga rebelde. 

Hari Gerard: Dahil doon napanatili ang kapayapaan sa buong kaharian. Ngayon upang pagtanaw ng utang na loob, maari kang humiling nang anuman ang iyong ninanais. 

Pinagmasdan ni Haring Aaron si Prinsipe Akhi. 

Haring Aaron: Kung inyong mamarapatin, nais kong hingin ang kamay ng inyong nag iisang anak. 

Nabigla ang Hari at Reyna sa tinuran ni Haring Aaron. Si prinsipe Akhi naman ay hindi makapaniwala. 

Haring Gerard: Nakatitiyak ka ba sa iyong sinasabi? Ikaw ay isang magiting na Hari at mandirigma. 

Reyna Audrey: Hindi maaring mabighani ang isang gaya mo sa kapwa mo lalaki. Ang anak ko ay isang prinsipe. Hindi mo ba ito nakikita? 

Haring Aaron: Nakatitiyak ako sa aking ninanais. Ako'y nabighani sa inyong anak. 

Haring Gerard: Imposible ang iyong ninanais. Paano kayo magkakaroon ng tagapag mana? 

Haring Aaron: Hindi naman lingid sa inyo na ako'y nagkaroon ng asawa noon ngunit sya ay namatay sa malubhang sakit. Ngunit sya ay nakapag iwan ng supling. Isang batang lalaki na balang araw ay magiging tagapag mana ko. At maari naman sigurong pamunuan ng dalawang hari ang isang kaharian hindi ba? Isipin nyo rin ang pakinabang nito sa inyo at sa inyong mga nasasakupan. Mas lalakas ang inyong pwersa at madaling magagapi ang inyong mga kaaway. 

Napaisip ang mag asawa. 

Haring Gerard: Kung gayon, ako ay pumapayag. Sa makalawa ay idaraos ang inyong kasal. 

Prinsipe Akhi: Ama kong hari?! Hindi pa po ako pumapayag sa mga ito. 

Haring Gerard: Buo na ang aking pasya. Para ito sa ikabubuti ng lahat. 

Naiyak ang prinsipe dahil hindi nya kayang baliin ang desisyon ng kanyang ama. 

Mula sa di kalayuan naroon si Gabriel. Narinig nya ang lahat. Nagtama ang tingin nilang dalawa at kapwa nasasaktan at lumuluha. 

Kinagabihan, sa kwarto ni prinsipe Akhi, habang sya ay umiiyak, may dumapong ibon sa kanyang bintana at may dala dala itong kalatas. Agad itong binasa ni prinsipe Akhi. 

"Mahal ko, kung pag-ibig natin ay wagas, atin itong ipaglaban. Sumama ka sa akin bukas ng hating gabi. Tayo ay magpapaka layo layo. Iwan natin ang lahat ng ito at mamuhay tayong masaya at magkasama. Hihintayin kita sa ating tagpuan."

Sa sobrang galak ay nakalimutan nyang iligpit ang sulat at ito ay nahulog sa sahig. 

Nagpaalam na si Gabriel sa kanyang amain. 

Harold: Nasisiraan ka na ba ng ulo?! Hindi mo maaring gawin ito! 

Gabriel: Iniibig ko si Akhi! Hindi ko na nais pang maghiganti. 

Harold: Nababaliw ka nang bata ka! 

Gabriel: paumanhin ngunit hindi na ako papipigil pa. 

Harold: Kung ganon, lumayas ka sa pamamahay ko! Isa kang malaking kahihiyan sa pangalan ng iyong mga magulang! 

Kinabukasan nakita ng isang alipin ang sulat sa kwarto ng prinsipe habang ito ay naglilinis. Agad nyang ipinaalam sa hari at ibinigay ang sulat. Ngayon ay alam na nila ng binabalak ng kanilang anak. Hindi nila ipinabatid na batid na nila ang kanilang balak. Dahil nais na matunton ng kanyang ama ang ka tanan nito sa pamamagitan nya. 

Pagsapit ng hating gabi, lumabas na ng palasyo ang prinsipe. Ang hindi nya alam ay nakasunod na ang mga kawal ng palasyo at si haring Gerard at haring Aaron sa kanya. Pagkarating ni Akhi ay agad silang nagyakap ni Gabriel. Agad syang hinalikan nito. 

Gabriel: Akala ko'y hindi mo na ako sisiputin mahal ko. 

Akhi: Hindi maari yon. Sasama ako sa'yo kahit saan pang lupalop ng mundo. 

Maya maya pa nagsilabas ang mga kawal at ang dalawang hari at napapalibutan na silang dalawa ng mga ito. 

Haring Gerard: Dakpin ang lalaking iyan! 

At pinaghiwalay silang dalawa ng mga kawal at hinawakan si Gabriel upang hindi makagalaw. 

Akhi: Ama! Itigil ninyo ito! 

Haring Gerard: Hindi ba't nag desisyon na ako na pakakasal ka kay Haring Aaron? 

Akhi: Ngunit hindi ko sya mahal! 

Haring Aaron: Prinsipe Akhi, matututunan mo rin kong mahalin. Di hamak na ako'y mas makisig sa hampas lupang ito. 

Lumapit sya kay Gabriel at inilabas ang kanyang espada.

Haring Gerard: Ikaw lalaki! Mangako ka na lalayuan mo na ang aking anak at hindi na muling makikipag kita sa kanya at tatalikuran mo na ang iyong nararamdaman para sa kanya kapalit ng iyong buhay! 

Gabriel: Kamahalan, hindi ko po magagawa ang iyong nais. 

Haring Aaron: Aba'y matigas ka talaga ha?! 

Sinikmurahan sya nito at itinutok ng kanyang espada sa dibdib nito. 

Haring Gerard: Bibigyan pa kita ng isa pang pagkakataon. Mangako ka na tatalikuran mo na ang aking anak! 

Habang umiiyak ay nagmamakaawa ang prinsipe kay Gabriel na tanggapin ang nais mangyari ng kanyang ama. Sa huling pagkakataon, tinitigan ni Gabriel ang mga mata ni Akhi at walang pag aalinlangan nyang sinabi. 

Gabriel: Akhi, mahal na mahal kita at hindi kita kailan man tatalikuran kahit hanggang kamatayan. 

At matapos nyang bitawan ang mga katagang iyon ay tuluyan na syang sinaksak ni Haring Aaron. Pagkahugot ng espada mula a kanyang katawan ay natumba ito. Hindi makapaniwala ang prinsipe. Tumakbo agad sya papunta sa tabi ni Gabriel at lumuluha na parang buhos ng ulan. Lumayo ang mga kawal at si Haring Aaron sa kanila. Yakap yakap ni Akhi si Gabriel habang umiiyak. 

Akhi: Gab Wag mo kong iiwan!! Mahal kita... 

Gab: *ubo* siguro kahit sa buhay na ito, hindi parin talaga tayo tinakdang magkasama pang habang buhay... 

Akhi: Gab?? What do you mean?! Don't leave me! 

Gab: Akhi... Sorry if I had to let you experience this twice. But I wondered how our life would be if we lived in a different time so I tried this. But it turns out that life together isn't for us.

Akhi: Gab no!!! Huhuhu 

Gab: I love you always Akhi. Please move on. Find love. Don't hold back. That's what I want for you. So I could rest in peace. 

Akhi: No Gab! please!!!!!!!!..........

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Akhi: No Gab Please!!!!

Napabalikwas ako sa higaan. It was all a dream. After a year dinalaw ulit ako ni Gab sa aking panaginip. It felt so real and it felt like a very long time. 

Rocel was sitting beside my bed, I mean Gab's old bed. I moved there. After he was gone. At mula din noon sinasamahan ako ni Rocel sa kwarto na matulog dahil nag aalala sya sakjn kahit hanggang ngayon. 

Rocel: Akhi, napanaginipan mo nanaman sya? 

Akhi: Ross, I'm sorry. It felt so real. Damang dama ko lahat ng emosyon. I miss him. 

Then I started crying

Rocel: Akhi, it's okay. You can cry all you want if that makes you feel better. 

Niyakap ko sya. Then I remember Gab's last words in my dream and I thought to myself "Mahirap ang hinihingi mo sakin Gab... Sa puso ko nag iisa ka lang. Hindi kita kayang palitan...